Lost Connections -- Part 3: Can we re-connect?

Johann Hari uses the last 2 chapters of his book to talk about ways in which we can increase and improve connections in ways that improve our mental health. Below are some tidbits of wisdom from the book --

One piece of advice Mr. Hari got was "If you want to stop being depressed, don't be you.... Be us. Be we. Be connected with everyone around you. Be part of the whole."

This was in reference to a research study that looked at people who made a commitment to make themselves happier in one year and set about doing whatever they thought would make them happier. Interestingly, people who lived in the US or Britain, did not report being happier at the end of that year. In most cases they had sought to make themselves happy by becoming more successful, earning more money, and getting more stuff.

In contrast, people who lived in Russia, Japan, or China reported higher rates of happiness after a year. Their approach in general had been to seek connections in their community in order to become happier. The social connections were much more powerful than status, money, and professional success.

Hari brings up something else, pointed out to him by a colleague. When we picture going to heaven, part of the picture for most people is that they will be surrounded by loved ones. And yet, while we are here on earth, with our loved ones still living, we often don't make enough time to see each-other. Why not? Wouldn't it make sense to try to give ourselves that bit of paradise while we're still here on earth?

We often pathologize feelings like sadness, anger, or fear, even when they are completely appropriate. Instead of rushing to extinguish a certain feeling, maybe we need to slow down and look/listen for what's missing.

If you are sad, what is it that you need? What is making you hurt?

If you are frightened, what are you facing? And what have you faced in the past that has conditioned you to find certain things frightening?

If you are angry, what injustice are you fighting? What are you protecting yourself from?

The last line of the book is this:

"It is only when we listen to our pain that we can follow it back to its source -- and only there, when we can see its true causes, can we begin to overcome it."